didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize