are you still at the devil's house?
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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