Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
