Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
