i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
