one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
