I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
