Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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