I love black thongs
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
