living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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