what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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