its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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