how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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