I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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