TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
