Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize