Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
