Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
