Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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