omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
