He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
