after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
