Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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