I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
