Small penises have feelings too.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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