End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
