): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
