Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
