Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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