I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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