I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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