I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
