Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Randomize
