It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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