I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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