did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
