So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
