i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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