Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
