Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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