mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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