well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
