I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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