doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize