Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize