And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
You ate ashes out of my bong
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
