so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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