If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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