IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Randomize
