she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
