...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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