it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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