What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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