highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
