We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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