Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Drake has all the answers
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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