I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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