Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
