You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize