Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
