Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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