So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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