It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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