How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize