i think i have herpe
just one?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I just found a bag of teeth...
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
